unslop-tests

Cuts AI tells from test code: tests that pass without proving anything, tautological assertions, mock-only tests, hardcoded waits, coverage theater, vague names, swallowed errors, retries used as fixes. Use whenever test code is written, changed, or reviewed, including tests produced as a side effect of a feature task, and applies even when a test is pasted inline with only "good to ship?" and no request for review. Also use when the request mentions "are these tests any good", "this test always passes", or "clean up these tests". Must always apply to test code.